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Saturday, 28 February 2009

  • i hate my job

    i hate my job

    i hate my job

    also, when will everything start to make sense? I still feel like part of me is pretending with my life right now.

     

    hum.

Saturday, 17 January 2009

  • I was talking to my boyfriend last night about the other women at work and why alot of the guys find them attractive. Apparantly its their clothing.

    Its made me realise that while I love fashion, I am maybe not thinking enough about it because in all consumed on weight loss. Im only a UK12.

    I decided before christmas that i would change my look this year, and thats exactly what im going to do.

Sunday, 11 January 2009

  • I am actually getting fed up of eating crap. So much so that I dont really eat it much anymore.

    Its a new year so i need a new me. Diet, gym, and taking care of myself. I have a boyfriend who loves my body but i still need to work on me and my views of me.

    Im taking up pole dance classes too.

     

Friday, 02 January 2009

  • not the greatest start to the new year. the guy friend i had a fling with a few months back is demanding to know how much my new boyfriend knows about me.

    this is so hard and it puts more doubts in my head that i cant pretend arent there, but what do i do?

Sunday, 28 December 2008

  • Why does every girl wants to be the girl that keeps that dog on the porch?

    What is it with this age old  notion that girls have. The wanting to be the girl that that unruly, untamed man will change for. The one that is so irrisistable and says what he wants, but you stick by him, and still adore him. All the while waiting for that moment when it falls into place and his changes his ways.

    Why does every girl want to be the girl that changes THAT guy? One could argue that surely its better to find someone who you click with for who they are, and one could also say that you should never try and make someone something their not. But its not about that is it? Its not you wanting to CHANGE someone to suit you, its that love you have for them, the idea that the dream life you could have with them is in such close reach if only they would just change some of their ways.

    I have a guy like that in my life. I dont think i can get him out of it. I care so much, and all i do is seek reassurance from him that he cares about me, im like a flower to the light for it. Hes my boyfriend of a fortnight. Sometimes i think he cares, sometimes i worry that all he wants is sex. He tells me he cares, but then he has a day where he just doesnt show it. I adore so many things about him, and is it so much to ask that he doesnt treat me like one of his buddies? That im his girlfriend and a little care and affection (other than sex) wouldnt go amiss. Its not that he doesnt kiss and cuddle. But i guess im a girlie girl who loves to get a random text or phone call letting me know im missed. I really do seek for that jackpot feeling, not the mediocre "yeah we're in a relationship" feeling.

    I guess il carry on seeking validation.

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cityy_girl

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